Kaitlin's Story

December 13, 2008

I woke up that Saturday morning feeling more tired than usual but it didn’t stop me from being excited to go to my cousin’s wedding. I couldn’t wait to see my cousins, aunts, and uncles!

We were running late that morning; my parents wanted to be on the road by 11:00, but we didn’t leave the house until 11:15. We had to stop and pick up my sister, Kensey. Right before we picked her up I remember saying to my parents “I hope we get to THIS wedding, last time we went to a wedding our car broke down”.

Kensey got into the car and we were on our way.

Or so we thought…

I remember looking out the window at a gas station and then closing my eyes to take a nap. (we were only 4 blocks from my house at this time).

The next thing I remember after closing my eyes was waking up in the ambulance with sticky things on my chest (to measure my heart rate) and oxygen tubing in my nose. My mom was with me and my dad, Kensey, and Brandon were right behind us in the car. Things were kind of fuzzy in the ambulance and I don’t remember a whole lot of the ride to the hospital.

The next real memory I have is once I was in the ER- a bunch of nurses immediately came to my bed and started asking me questions, hooking me up to monitors, and starting an IV in my arm. I remember being scared because I didn’t know what was going on. My dad was talking to someone in the hallway and my mom was beside me doing her best to reassure me.

I remember my Aunt Jen came down to the hospital and my sisters and brother being there. I remember asking my mom if we could still go the wedding and she said “probably not” which made me sad.

I don’t remember anything else about the hospital.

I was sent home that same day. I was relieved to be back home but annoyed by the constant attention from everyone: “are you ok?” “do you need anything?” They (my parents) wouldn’t let me be alone at all that day and that got really annoying. Even my brother kept checking on me.

I remember my parents explaining to me what had happened. I felt very scared but I didn’t show my parents that I was afraid. I didn’t want them to be more worried about me.

Flash forward to November 2010- I am still kind of scared with my epilepsy even though I don’t let people see it. (I suspect after my parents read this they’ll be sitting down with me though). I’m scared that I’ll have it for the rest of my life. I’m scared that when I’m older and do things on my own I’ll have a seizure and get hurt and nobody will know. I’m scared to go biking alone, or swimming alone. I’m scared I’ll still be having seizures when I’m old enough to drive and that I’ll have one while driving.

But as scared as I am, I try not to dwell on the “what if’s” and I focus on the present instead. I’ve gone 23 months without a tonic clonic seizure and 17 months without a complex partial seizure. I have some pretty awesome friends who don’t treat me differently just because I have seizures (although they do watch over me). I have an awesome family who support me, no matter what.

Hopefully, my story will help someone else know they aren’t alone and that it’s ok to be afraid but not to let your fears control how you live each day.

We’re in this together!

Love,
Kaitlin